what it's really like to be a parent

posted on: Sunday, September 29, 2013


It's been a bit quiet around these parts.  In the last month I've transitioned out of full-time-stay-at-home-mama-blogging-part-time-uni-going into full time office work + family + uni. I wrote this post over a month ago. I think it's a measure of how busy life has been that I've only just found the headspace to post it.

*      *      * 

At the time I'm writing this I'm one and half weeks off starting a new gig that I'm very excited about.

When I sat down to type this post I planned to write about going back to out-of-home work after such a long time at home. Something that might address the questions I've been asking myself; why go back? What should I expect? How can I make the change easy on my kids? (And of course, what should I wear ;)

But then my thoughts turned to my youngest wee babe.

I thought about how one day she might grow up and have her own babes (also maybe not, that's fine too).

But say she does. Or say the boys do. Say the boys become papas and say they stay at home with their little ones for a while. Then maybe one day they'll decide to return to the outside world like I'm doing now. Or maybe they won't.

Or maybe they'll be at the beginning of their journey to have a family and they'll read these words of their mama from so long ago to learn what they should expect.

Or maybe they'll be a year or so into their journey and they'll compare what they read here to what they're experiencing.

What do I want to tell them? What do I want them to know about what it's like to stay at home and raise a baby? What do I want to tell them about parenthood?

dear lady, dear kiddo, dear firstborn,

 I want you to know that staying at home with babes is hard but I want you to know that it's beautiful. 

I want you to know that it's worth it. I want you to know that you probably won't regret it. but did I mention that it's hard? it can be isolating, frustrating and tedious.

I don't tell you this to scare you, I tell you this because I want you to be kind to yourself. when you see these pictures where your tiny selves are smiling and your mum looks like she's always got herself together I want you to know that I didn't, and you weren't always.

I am as real as you. I am a woman just trying her best. I do not always get it right. and sometimes I try as hard as I can and then I just can't do anymore and I feel sad for a while. but then it's okay again. good or bad: everything passes.

and sometimes I do get it right. and I do try really, really hard. I parent you all the best way I know how and if I don't know what to do I ask someone or I read about it or I watch others or I talk about my worries.

you kids are so important to me; parenting you all is my favourite.

but I also have to take care of myself.

to be generous of spirit with you means I need to feel good too. I have to have, to give.

so if you're reading this from some grownup point in the future and you're at a crossroads I suggest you ask yourself this:

what makes you happy? what makes you feel good about yourself? find that and do that. and even though I have my own opinions, I will always want you to have what *you* want for yourself. I trust you.


and actually, knowing what you want for yourself can sometimes be the hardest part, so if you have that figured out that's a lot.

so be gentle. be kind to yourself and to others. whatever you decide to do, know that you are, and always have been, good enough.

this is what I'm telling myself at this time. if you ever happen to wonder, I want you to know it about yourself too.

love, mama.

24 comments:

  1. What a great post, don't worry that it took a while to post it, you're doing a great job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much michelle, that's so nice of you to say :) x

      Delete
  2. Beautiful post Bron...I definitely can relate...being a mother is the most extraordinary combination of hard and beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. isn't it just?! and I think we're probably often going through similar times too, with the closeness in age of our little ones.

      Delete
  3. i love this bron. the most challenging and awe inspiring thing i have {and will} ever do. highs, lows and all betweens! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aww, thanks ashley. yes, it's such a journey of extremes. sometimes I think it brings out the best and worst of me. x

      Delete
  4. I love parenting, and the extremes it has. I go back to work next week and my only boy is now 12 months old. I'm sometimes feeling all the confidence in the world and then the pendulum swings to the complete opposite feeling! Crash & Burn I keep hearing in my mind! So many extremes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh, veronica, I hope there's not too much crash and burning over your way. but if there is, I can relate for sure. x

      Delete
  5. Beautiful post Bron, I hope the changes have been fulfilling!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you lila! they have been. it's been very full on but I've loved getting back into the outside world populated by grownups again :)

      Delete
  6. that is such a beautiful letter, and so true. very wise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that is so lovely of you to say krystal. I hope your mamahood journey is going well? you tiny man looks like the sweetest little person.

      Delete
  7. Oh yes, Bron. The time will get even less with work now but there are advantages and disadvantages to both being home full time and work. If you are trying to parent the right way enough to think about it and question it and worry as well as enjoy, you are a caring devoted parent and after all, that's what they really need isn't it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for your vote of confidence annie. our daily schedules are now some kind of crazy, and organised with military precision (so unlike me). these are interesting times ;)

      Delete
  8. This is beautiful, Bron.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you. I've had a challenging few weeks at home and this was perfect to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you're so very welcome stephanie. I hope you've had some glorious days since. x

      Delete
  10. Arggh, help. Have you since learnt how to work full time with a little one?? Please tell me there are tricks. I'm only my third week into 4 day weeks, my first 5 day week starts monday...and I have the flu already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :( I hope you're feeling better now andrea? I'll have to have a think back and see if I have any tips to offer. in the meantime, sending hugs. x

      Delete
    2. Thanks Bron.:) Yes, feeling better, although not feeling any better about the concept of full time work yet, just feels like I need to jam a few more days in the week to get the quality mom/son time, quality me time, quality me/husband time, not to mention pets, housework....anyhoo. I guess I'll get used to it.

      Delete

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Blog Archive