pondering : what nobody will tell you about motherhood

posted on: Thursday, May 30, 2013

Nothing.

I don't think there's anything that mums will not talk about, especially on all the amazing blogs and sites that stretch far and wide across the web. On the other hand, no matter how much we read about it, or hear songs about it, or see it from a distance, I know motherhood is always going to be an individual's unique journey with experiences and sensations impossible to anticipate.

Recently I heard Anna Goldsworthy, author of Welcome to Your New Life, (which I haven't read, but would like to. Have you read it?) say that before she was pregnant she had read more about what it felt like to be a middle-aged man having a crisis then what it felt like to have a child.


By 'read' I assume she meant what she had read in a particular genre of literature, in the books she'd personally sought out, because the tubes are full: the information is out there.

 *       *       * 

But can there ever be enough stories? I don't think so (hello meet the mama). I think women are playing catch up when it comes to having a voice. And isn't that one of the best things about the blogosphere? We can all share our knowledge, we all have the chance to be heard. We don't have to pass through a special filter that deems our story worth telling or not, we can just tell it.

We don't live in villages, maybe we don't even get too involved in our local communities anymore (although probably we should. Hmm). We often don't see in real life how other mamas manage, but on the net we can find most everything we'd like to know.

*       *       *

Perhaps you disagree with me and feel we still have aways to go before the reality of mamahood is truly known. Is there anything you wish you'd been told but wasn't? Are there big or little things about motherhood that mystify you and you'd like to hear discussed? Are there any questions you'd like to ask me about my journey so far? I'd love to hear!


Some posts I have appreciated on what it feels like to be, or become a mother: A birth story by Kelle Hampton. On being a single parent by Sash Milne, and the post that inspired me leading up to the birth of the ladyA birth story by Miss James at Bleubird.

p.s the lovely Lila recently had me over to talk about studying and motherhood. You can read about it on Little Wolff if you'd like.

Photography by Feather and Stone

10 comments:

  1. As the world has gotten busier and bigger, in most places we have lost our sense of community. Since finding the blogging world, I am starting to find a place of belonging. Each woman, each Mumma, and those Dads who blog, are all forming a world wide community.

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    1. so true, it's a new community and I find it amazing. I definitely feel a sense of belonging in the blogosphere, although I would never have imagined it before it happened.

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  2. I think that while there is so much information out there we are still so far off knowing what it is like to be a mother until it happens to us.

    While we can read and imagine I don't think that we see the nitty gritty of being a mother enough...or at least I know I didn't.
    I suppose I was the first of my friends to have a baby and so I never witnessed those moments of stress and despair when your baby won't stop crying or when your toddler falls and hits their head.
    And even if my friends had babies before I did I think the tendency is to hide those moments and pretend that they don't happen.
    Or maybe before you are a mother you just are not at all tuned in to those types of moments happening all around you?

    And I don't think all the reading in the world can prepare you for how you will change...becoming a mother is such a personal thing and something that each mother will experience in her own individual way.

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    1. lots of good points caitlin! I'm so interested in all the individual ways we experience motherhood. I wonder if the collective info will create a more helpful net for say, when our kids are parents?

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  3. Lovely Post Bron. I agree with you - there's plenty of information out there now and a general acceptance of all the feelings and trials and tribulations that a Mother will encounter. I don't think I've ever read a blog post and been alarmed by anything that has been written by a Mother, as raw as it may be. In the end each of us experience motherhood in our own way. Some adapt more easily than others and there are so many factors that play a part in that. I wish I was told that although I may be hugely ambitious and have a career "plan" before the arrival of kids, that I may suddenly not be interested in any of it after the Kids come along. I'm still surprised I've enjoyed being a stay at home Mum for almost 9 years. Mel x

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    1. that's amazing Mel! my own ma thought for a while she might be a stay at home mum, but after three years at home with little me she was so bored she just had to get back to the office. It's true you just never know how you'll feel :)

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  4. I often find a sense of comfort being able to share a wider range mothering experiences through the internet than I would in my offline community.
    It's been particularly comforting to meet other mums like yourself and Julie who have had children early and then another child/ren after a large gap.
    Thanks again for sharing some of your journey on our space!

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    1. it's like there's a larger pool in which to find kindred sprits. that's a bit awesome in my opinion.
      ...and you are very welcome! I am looking forward to featuring your interview here soon.

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  5. I am relatively new to the blogosphere and I wish I had ventured into it sooner. There is such a wealth of information and advice floating out there ready for the picking. And the community that has created it is sometimes more supportive than those found in the real world. This is a shame but still lovely to know that there are people out there who are going through the same thing that you are. I think that is probably the most reassuring thing about it all.
    As for motherhood, I think that there is only a certain level of explanation that can be achieved. The rest, you just have to experience for yourself. But when it happens it is nice to be able to share it with others.

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    1. I feel like all of us are new to the blogosphere (it being so new) but I know what you mean. I can't even imagine how different my early mummying years might have been had it existed at the time. x

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