"Before Hugh was born I worked full time with one of Victoria’s large building companies doing admin and also colour selections for clients building their new homes. I also had my own business, which I still have, doing local interior design consultations for private clients. I was involved with ballroom dancing and along with competing I taught adult beginners and had a teenager’s class, which I adored.
On a good week I went to the gym 3-4 times a week, went shopping, caught up with friends and read lots and lots of books. Now I can’t tell you the last time I read a book.
My day usually starts at 7am. My husband Matt, will get Hugh’s breakfast while I am feeding Charles who is still breastfeeding at 14 months. I'm planning to wean him very soon. Then I’ll handball Charles to Matt, Matt will get Charles' breakfast and I'll have a shower.
By the time I’m ready, hubby is off to work and I’m able to sit with the boys. I like to have the house relatively tidy before Charles goes down for his first sleep at about 9am. I say relatively, because as we all know, there is no such thing as a tidy house with kids around.
At the moment Charles is still having two sleeps a day, so much of our day is spent at home. At sleep times Hugh (who is two) generally potters. He loves to paint, so I set his easel up and let him paint and stick etc. We read some books, watch a bit of ABC2, play cars or we cook. I try and cook something with Hugh once a week.
When both boys are up, they love playing outside. We might go to the supermarket or the library or the park or catch up with my mum’s group. Each day is different. At the moment Hugh’s night sleeps haven’t been great so what we do in the day depends on how well the night went. Sometimes it means lots of ABC2.
I’m incredibly lucky to be able to work around my boys. My working hours revolve around their sleeps. When they sleep I catch up on emails, do some research and design work, and if I’m lucky and they have a big sleep I have the chance to read a few blogs.
At 4.30pm the ‘bitching hours’ start. I get tea ready for the boys and at 5.30 they eat, have a bath, milk and are in bed at 7pm (with a few books thrown in). Matt doesn’t get home until about 6.30pm so he usually walks in at the most chaotic time just in time for his ‘hero half hour’.
The most surprising thing I've found about becoming a mum is that I love it so much. I was never a clucky woman. I always thought I would be the career girl in the big city and not settle down until I was 40. Turns out I was wrong. Now show me a picture of a baby and I'm cluck, cluck, clucky. I've even based my interior design business around babies!
Even so, the days can be very, very long. I’m lucky that I have a creative outlet as I couldn’t imagine how much longer the days would be if I didn’t have something else going on to let me be someone other than ‘Mum’.
Sometimes I crave going back to just being an employee, to indulge in idle gossip or chat and have adult conversations for a full day.
The hardest part of being a mum is making sure I'm always doing my best. Not just letting each day go past but always remembering the big picture: that I am raising future gentlemen. To actively involve their little brains, to make sure they have good manners and are learning to be polite and kind.
My favourite things about being a mum are the cuddles, the ‘I love yous', the laughter, realising how clever they are, and the good surprises: Hugh likes to tell my mum and I, ‘You’re cute'.
It’s going to sound terrible but what helps me parent well is having a short time away from the boys. On average, I might see one to two clients per week. Consultations take about two hours, and being away from the boys makes me excited and appreciate coming home to them. It reinvigorates me. Of course, my husband also helps me parent well. When he’s home I know I can go about getting things done while he and the boys play and have great ‘man time’.
The best parenting advice I've received actually came from my obstetrician. When I couldn’t breastfeed Hugh and had to put him on formula at the hospital, I was so upset. My ob told me to look at any playground and tell him which child was breastfed and which was formula fed. Of course I couldn't.
It doesn’t matter how you birth your child or how you feed your child. All they need and want is your love and time.
If it all gets too much -- when there are tantrums and they refuse to eat that meal you just spent three hours preparing or there are sleep issues (all of which I’m going through with Hugh at the moment), I remind myself that tomorrow is a brand new day. And a glass of wine when they are in bed helps too."
belinda is a baby space contributor and also blogs at next design studio.
Posts
